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12.4.12

The only infertile in the village

Today, is not a good day. I feel like I'm in the twilight zone. I hope you don't think I'm crazy but I think all of this is just the universe plotting against me. Before I tell you what's going on, I'll start off by saying how I feel right now. Take a look


The man in the sketch is the only gay in the village (or so he thinks) and he feels isolated but when there's another gay in the village he feels threatened and they fight about who's the gayer one. If you replace gay with infertile and fighting about who's gayer with who's been TTC the longest, you have my life. Except I don't get matched with other infertiles by a bartender named Myfanwy but that's the only thing that's different. 

For some reason, when I meet an infertile person in real life (trough group therapy) I cannot relate to them. They've either been trying for 10 years or 3 months. I don't want to sound like a TTC snob but people who've been trying for 3 months that say we're in the same predicament piss me off. Because we're not. Not yet at least but I always hope it won't be the case for the poor woman. Then there are the people who've been trying for 10 years. I don't like to talk when there's a woman in this situation in the room because I feel like everything that comes out of my mouth is whiny compared to what these woman and their partners have been trough. And because every woman that I ever meet that's TTC is older than me (the way it should be) they all like to "argue" with me. Everyone knows at least one woman who's TTC journey is and always will be harder than theirs and she doesn't shy away from telling you every single detail. Which is fine by me, but don't turn it into a contest. So when I walk out of the room, I feel even more isolated. This is the first reason why today sucks.

The second sucky reason is about the pattern I was telling you about in the beginning of this post. You probably already know what I'm talking about because once the universe knows there's an infertile located in a certain area, it makes sure everyone around her acts like a moron to annoy her even more. 
Here's what I found: The shorter a couple has been together and the wonkier their relationship is, the sooner they get pregnant and this seems to really be the case in my environment.

It's like I'm being slapped in the face by pregnancy announcements every 3 seconds right now. I'm actually scared of Facebook at the moment. If people keep adding their fetuses to their friendslists I will jump out of my window. On goods days I don't care, but on bad days it hurts. It feels like I'm being stabbed and someone' twisting the knife. 

I'm in a very unreasonable mood and because this is my blog I will rant about anything and everything that gets on my nerves today. It might be different tomorrow but at least I shared and sharing feels great.

I hope you can relate and I promise to be cheerier next time!

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Thank you so much for reading my blog. Let me know what you think! - Jill