Today it's February 5, 2012. Exactly two years ago today we made the lifechanging decision to expand our family. Even though I was young at the time (19 to be exact) I knew that due to our medical issues, this was the right thing to do. I made a huge checklist of everything I thought someone needed to provide a happy home for a child. Financial stability, check. A reliable, trustworthy, mature partner, check. A loving home, check. I came up with 100 + things to put on that list and I'm still checking things off today. I'm turning 21 in less than 3 weeks and I can't believe it. I've always been quite mature. In fact, acting my age makes me very uncomfortable. But never did I think that at the age of 21, I'd be trying to conceive for 2 years.
Life has a way of throwing you off, but I do have to say that this has been the best roadbump so far. The husband and I are closer than ever, I found my balance in life and I feel like a better person. TTC has been a very spiritual experience for me. Because nothing makes you look at your inner self more than the decision to have a baby.
As I sit here teary eyed I remember all the hurt we've been trough. I remember how naive I was, thinking that I'd get pregnant as soon as I was off the pill, despite of what the doctor said. I remember how useless my husband felt and how useless I felt. I remember having to go to the doctor every 2 weeks and still feeling like we weren't making any progress. I remember thinking that Clomid was the only thing I needed to become a mom. I remember wanting to give up and adopt. I remember collapsing in the bathroom and sitting there crying with my husband for hours.
The hurt an infertile feels is indescribable, but we made it. We made it this far and we're not about to give up.
Thank you all so much for following me on this journey. Let's make it an awesome one.