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3.10.11

The christmas countdown to a mental breakdown has begun


Sorry i´ve been MIA lately. I´ve been so sick I couldn´t see straight. Not doing anything got me thinking though. It´s almost the end of 2011, can you believe it? And we're still not pregnant yet, can you believe that? I am a deliriously positive person. Every January I say "I just know I'm going to get pregnant this year" and i've been wrong so far but I can't shake the thought. Every fiber in my being knows I will be a mom. The "when" part...that's the tricky part. I'm so ready to move out of the trying to conceive stage and into the pregnant stage of my life. Especially since christmas is three months away.  
Almost every infertile fantasises about getting her BFP or telling her husband/family she's pregnant on a special day whether it's your anniversary, thanksgiving or christmas. This attitude is what makes holidays rough. You (subconciously) pressure yourself into having a positive pregnancy test to rub in everyones face by that time. When people know you are TTC, the pressure around holidays is even worse. TTC is hard enough 
without you putting deadlines on it. 

It's okay to have a bit of the holiday blues months in advance though. I'm not really looking forward to christmas either to be honest. Christmas changed the moment I decided I wanted to get pregnant and didn't succeed. I hope you know what I mean. I really don't feel ready to celebrate another infertile christmas. The fact that we're still without child always gets emphasized at family occasions and that can be really hard.
The point of this entire post is: I know holiday season is coming and I know how incredibly hard it is for an infertile to enjoy it. But you owe yourself some fun! When people ask you questions be prepared to have a snarky come back. Keep tissues in your purse at all times and pretend to blow your nose when you feel teary eyed. Sit somewhere near the bedroom and don't drown your sorrows in cider.

Plus, 2011 still has 3 months left. Who know what'll happen right?


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Thank you so much for reading my blog. Let me know what you think! - Jill