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21.9.11

The girlfriends' guide to great sex

I love honesty so lets be honest girls. At some point in everyones' trying to conceive journey, sex tends to feel like a chore. It becomes less and less about connecting with your partner and more and more about catching that egg. To help you keep your sexy time sexy and not make your husband feel like a spermbank,  here are a couple of tips from one TTC woman to another.
I hope you love it. Leave me a comment if you do!


 Let's get glam
If you feel sexy, you look sexy. Get your hair and nails done and if you have the guts, get a brazilian wax. This alone would be enough to save your sex life because well...go get it and see what I mean. Sure, it hurts like a bitch, but so does childbirth, so you better suck it up! These are great confidence boosters and you are going to need plenty of that if you want to surprise your husband in the bedroom more often.


Set the mood
For those of you who don´t like to knock boots in silence, make a sexy playlist!
You can´t have a sexy playlist without this song. Everything that's slow should be fine. Unless you like Nine Inch Nails,  then go with that. If you don´t like the same music, skip it all together.



Say no to granny panties
It's okay to feel silly or uncomfortable in lingerie. But wearing lingerie is exactly like wearing heels. They're uncomfortable but I wear them anyway because they make my legs look slimmer and make me feel feminine and sexy.  I don't want to get lazy when it comes to that. The same goes for lingerie. I love Agent Provocateur. Their products cost a small fortune but they make you feel and look freakin' hot, it's definitely worth the bucks. Just remember that stockings aren't neccesary but they're definitely the icing on the cake. Wear heels to finish the look. As long as it feels a little weird and takes some getting used to once you wear it, you're good. It means you're out of your boring comfort zone and freaky things tend to happen when you step out of your comfort zone...

A little (or a lot) of sluttines goes a long way
If you are REALLY uncomfortable you can do three things (and no, you can't take your lingerie off, we're trying something new, remember?) 1) Fill a glass to the rim with vodka 2) Create an alter ego 3) All of the above. All it takes to make you feel like a different person is different underwear and maybe a different hairstyle/wig. While you're admiring yourself in the mirror, think of a new name for yourself. Something crazy. Create a slutty new persona around your new look and name and go with that. Don't be afraid to whore it up for your husband! He'll love it, you'll feel nasty in a good way. It's a lot of fun so try it first before you diss it! Your husband knows he's not going to come home to you like this every day, but it's about living out a fantasy, being careless (while you can) and trying new things.

Show off your assets
If you're not happy with your butt, wear hotpants instead of a thong. If you don't like your belly, wear a corset rather than a bra. If you love your butt and belly, show them off. Work with what you have and stop obessing about what you don't have. Whining does not make your boobs bigger, your butt perkier or your stretchmarks dissapear. You.Are. Beautiful. Your husband thinks so too so get over your silly insecurities and 
enjoy the ride.

You're never too old to learn
I don't care if you're 25 or 55, I definitely don't care about how long you've been sexually active and I really don't care if you've been married for 30 years. There are always new things to learn. ALWAYS. Try to approach sex like a virgin and don't feel too old/experienced/shy/insecure to read up about it.  I don't reccomend Kamasutra.I personally think it's a crock of bull. Most of us are not contortionists and aren't interested in breaking our backs in bed . I do like Hot Sex and Supersex by Tracey Cox (yes, that's actually her name). Orgasm for two by Dr. Betty Dodson was interesting too. I thought they were  really fun, easy and non-preachy reads and picking up a copy of either one of them (or all of them) won't be something you'll regret. 



In bed? Boring!
The laundry room, your parents' bedroom, on a camping trip, in a park, in a pool, in a car, on the kitchen table, on your friends' couch, on the beach, the ladies' room at a Chinese restaurant, on a picnik table, the airport bathroom, a back alley, a golf course, against the fridge. The possibilities are endless enjoy it while you can just up and leave and have sex whenever wherever without having to find a baby sitter first. 


Naughty dreams and fantasies
If you're having a little trouble focusing (when you can't get ovulation and baby making off your mind while you should be focusing on having hot sex with your incredibly hot husband) think about something that turns you on. The poolguy, Jesse Metcalfe, that girl from back in your college days, Jon Hamm, Ryan Gosling, Michael C. Hall ,your father in law. Go there if you must. This does not mean you're not sexually attracted to your partner so don't you dare feel guilty about this. There are no rules when it comes to this game. Just don't talk about your fantasies. They will be (and stay) your dirty little secrets and might be just what you need to relax and clear your mind.
                                                          Bedroom must haves

Every couple needs at least one Jimmyjane product in their bedroom. My favorite Jimmyjane product is the Afterglow massage oil candle. It looks like a normal candle but don't forget to tell your partner that it's not wax you want to pour on him, but massage oil before he freaks the heck out. Since we're not into S&M (Unless you are, then skip this sentence) it's a good thing the oil doesn't get hot, just warm. All their products are pareben free and body safe.
KY intense is  a gel to be massaged on the clitoris to increase sensitivity, heightening the feeling of pleasure during climax. It only works for about 70% of the women who use it, if it works for you 
be ready to get your mind blown!


Just a few tips and fun facts: 


- Do not use lube or too much saliva. Lube and saliva kill sperm and we desperately need sperm to do its job, remember? If you must use lube, use pre-seed
- Use body safe products and toys. Breaking out in hives would totally kill the mood. 
- Did you know that there are 7 types of orgasms. Yes, 7. 
1. Pressure orgasm - when you exert pressure on the clitoris by crossing your legs, great thing to try at a fancy restaurant. 2. Tension orgasm - Results from stimulating the clitoris while clenching the muscles of the body.
 3. Relaxation orgasm - This requires clitoral stimulation and the relaxation of the muscles of the body.
4. G-spot orgasm - I don't have to explain this one
5. Blended orgasm - When G spot and clitoris are simultaneously stimulated. Said to be way more intense than clitoral orgasm.
6.Multiple orgasm - Orgasms that follow one another in these awesome waves
7. Fantasy orgasm - Reach the big O trough mental stimulation alone...wow. 


Interesting huh?

I hope you learned something and I hope I inspired you to step out of that dreaded comfort zone, learn to feel completely comfortable in your skin, don't be afraid to be a little whorey for your husband and try completely new things.


Have lots and lots and lots of fun!
(if you want to know more, send me a message *wink*)



picture sources: cosmopolitan.com, Jimmyjane.com, google.com

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Thank you so much for reading my blog. Let me know what you think! - Jill