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19.6.11

Dear god,



I know I haven't gone to church in years, I know I don't say my prayers every night. I know i've done things You wouldn't aprove of. But I'm trying my hardest to be the best version of myself I can be. Not just because I like personal and emotional growth, but also because it might make You send me my baby a little sooner. I'm happy You sent my owl loving e-friend the pregnancy she deserves, thank you for that. But I'm just wondering if You could give me a schedule so I know when I can expect my first bout of morning sickness. 
I know this is some kind of test. To test my patience and endurance and I know You have tested thousands and thousands of loving women who all became fabulous moms when the time was right.

I hope You don't think I'm ungrateful, because I am really not. You gave me a bunch of things I'm extremely thankful for. But You also gave me this maternal instinct I can't get rid off. My arms are aching to hold my child. I don't know why or how I'm able to love a person I've never met this much. But God, I'll promise You that once You bless me with this little miracle, I'll do everything within my power to protect, cherish and guide this child troughout this wonderful journey called life. 

Please help every woman out there trying to conceive to stay strong and patient. Help remind them that they are not alone and that I think about them every day. Please give them the insight to realize this too shall pass and the wait will be rewarded with a precious human being. Please help them remember what they felt when they were trying to conceive so they are more thankful for their children every day. And may the pain of infertility never fully be forgotten so they can help and inspire others in need.

Thanks for giving us this experience. An experience that brings us a lot of pain, but also a lot of knowledge. An experience that connects strangers, brings out a strenght in us we did not know we had and a primal instinct we often forget. With each passing day we turn into stronger women and fiercer mothers.

Thank you for giving us the opportunity to prepare for the biggest event of our lives.
Amen


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Thank you so much for reading my blog. Let me know what you think! - Jill