Today was a pretty rough day. I could not stand the sight of whiny pregnant people and every time I saw a beautifully content baby on tv, I frantically asked M to change the channel. I've been super frustrated and angry lately. Maybe because I've lost touch with everyone I used to hang out with, maybe because I can't concentrate at work....
I don't know what the deal is. I do know that TTC is very, very lonely. I went from being this social butterfly, to a girl that would rather stay home than deal with people.
TTC for us is like being on an unhabitated island. There are cruise ships sailing by. They can see us and understand our situation but they choose to get on with their lifes, shout lame advice to the island and enjoy their cruise without ever considering that we might need support .
I constantly feel misunderstood and hate that no one talks to me anymore and I take out my frustration on M. Which is something that always makes me feel really bad 3 seconds later, because he doesn't deserve it at all. He's an amazing man. He's been there for me when everyone forgot I existed. He's going trough this whole process with me without ever complaining.
Whatever I might have said in a hormonal fit of rage, I really love him with all my heart and I'm glad we're on this journey together.